Too funny, read the “pick-up” lines below.

aaronbleyaert:

Well, the Disqus people say that the comments thing has been fixed; and in line with my current streak of shit luck, it involved erasing basically all the comments that anyone has ever posted.  I asked if they could still have the problem fixed and bring all the comments back - and they said that they’re looking into it. Let’s all cross our fingers and hope for the best (which will probably involve the computer blowing up and horribly scarring my face).  The Disqus peeps have been super nice and attentive, so I have some hope that they’ll come through.  However, the ghost of the evil wizard in my house who is intent on ruining everything (and whom I have taken to calling “Gary”) will probably working overtime to make sure that it doesn’t happen.  GAARRRRRRRRRRY!!!  Damn you, Gary. Damn you and your wizarding ways.

Anyway, it’s time to stop thinking about bad luck. It’s time to move forward… And looking forward, I see that Valentine’s Day is coming up this weekend!  As many of you already know, I am hopelessly, forever single - and single for three main reasons: 1. I’m bad at talking to girls. 2. I look like an out of shape muppet, and 3. I get sweaty at weird times (in the cereal aisle at the supermarket? How is that possible?).  HOWEVER, there are silver linings to this neverending cloud of bachelorhood: I don’t have to do anything for Valentine’s Day!  HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA WINNER.

Anyway, for those of you who’ve spent the past week listening to Coldplay and wishing for a woman, I feel like it’s my duty to try to help you scoop somebody up before the big day.  SO… I’ve come up with a bunch of pickup lines that I think might help you out!  However, please keep in mind that I am extremely nerdy, extremely single, and EXTREMELY bad at chattin’ up chicks.  READY!?  LET’S GO!

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