Today for this year’s Halloween,  I’ll be putting a bucket of candy on my front porch because it’s a Saturday and I’ll be out with my friends at various parties.  With the bucket of candy I’ll be posting the following message on my door:

“Happy Obama-ween boys and girls!  Via recent communication from the President and White House the rules for this year’s Halloween candy free-for all have changed:  Hello Trick-Or-Treaters: In an effort to make our country a better place, and as your President, I’ve asked Congress to pass legislation implementing the following Halloween protocol this year: 1) If you don’t have much candy in your bag you should take more candy from the bucket that you normally would. 2) If you have an ample amount of candy in your bag you should take no candy. 3) If you have an oversupply of candy in your bag, you MUST take some candy out of YOUR bag and put it in the bucket so those kids with not as much candy as you can have more (see #1 above).  Sincerely, Barack Hussein Obama, 44th President of the United States. PS-I encourage your feedback please visit www.whitehouse.gov/contact to do so”